Anxiety; Put into perspective by my kids; although they give me the anxiety???

A week of anxiety and all is put into perspective for me. Really helps atleast for a couple of days I just wish I could get my shit together and stay focused.
Gymnastic meets, parent teacher conferences, my moms emphasyma,sp?? doctors, leaves, back surgery, son, house is a mess, have to get groceries, clean leaves up, bathe dogs, clean car, on and on and on. Thats what my mind is thinking. I make list after list until my lists all say the same thing and I'm sitting here trying to put all of my lists into one list.
I cancel teacher conference for a week, take mom to doctor, get her meds, cancel flu shots for a week, cancel back doctor appointment, send daughter for groceries, look at leaves, look at dogs, look at car, get pretty much nothing done.
So my older kids and youngest plus grandbaby are here the other day and I start rambling. Then talking loud, I drive my older ones nuts and my younger one just looks at me. I tell her I'm not talking to her but my others have to get their shit together. Yea they need their shit together???
Tell my daughter to quit leaving her crap everywhere, tell my son to take out the trash. Now its not like I havent asked nicely for a damn week. Finally it gets to where I'm going over my list, or lists, of shit I need done. Its supposed to freeze tonight! My fountain needs drained, hoses need drained, swamp cooler need drained, house looks like shit, everything is unorganized, I even go so far as to tell them that I'm out of Dr. Pepper! lol. I drive myself crazy when I do this shit.
I leave and go to my moms she needs inebulizer and I'm pretty sure she isn't taking it. Now in my little bitty mind I'm thinking ok everything will be done when I get home.
I get home and they are all laying on the damn couches watching tv! Ok now my blood starts boiling plus I have found new things that have to go onto my lists.
I start yelling, I don't even know what I say and after years of anxiety and being with them 24/7 they have selective hearing and can tune me out really well. Until I start crying, which almost never happens.
My son tell me "You need to relax mom" I tell him to relax I dont have the GD time to relax. Yea like he really relaxes in the army? My daughter says "Mom! I told you I would help you" yea, I say a fing week ago. She says "Kinda busy" as she is breast feeding the baby. OH shit I used to breast feed, have one on my leg, clean house, and cook dinner at the same time!
Finally, they get up and grab my list. It was all done in one hour and I felt so much better. It is crazy how fast things can get done when you just do them instead of make list about them. lol. This is a huge problem and the exact reason I stopped the lists. I dont know when I started them again? And why do I have to go nuts to get some help? Why are kids so much more willing to help strangers than their parents? I even offer to pay them! lol.
So yesterday when I woke up I was all by myself. My little one spent the night with her sister. Before I got out of bed I told myself you are going to get up and get your crap done. Go Go Go, I was still laying there. But I did it. I got my butt up, no lists, no phone, no computer. Turned on some music and took off. I was amazed at how many things I achieved with the help of pain pills for my back. Damn pills. damn back.
Anyway I learned a few things, again:
No lists
Cry and your kids might help you
I work better with nobody around me.
My older kids are pigs now. lol.
Four people can get alot of shit done. Fast.
Dont trust mom: She doesnt take her meds right.
Get my ass up and get as much done as possible: That way at the end of the day you dont feel like a total failure.
The inbox is never empty so might as well quit worrying about the little stuff.
As your kids get older you think you can get off meds. But it seems the dosage just get stronger. lol.