Custom Search
#sidebar2 a:hover { text-decoration: underline; color: #D7363E; } #sidebar2 a:visited { text-decoration: none; color: #30A2D6; } .sidebar a img { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; } /* ----- PROFILE ----- Blogger template design by emporiumdigital.blogspot.com */ .profile-img a img { display: block; float: left; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; clear: both; } .profile-textblock { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 10px 0px 10px 0px; clear: both; line-height: 1.6em; } .profile-data { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; font-weight: normal; font-style: italic; } .profile-datablock { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; } .profile-link { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; } /* ----- BLOCKQUOTE ----- */ blockquote { margin: 12px 30px 12px 20px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 10px; color: #191919; font: italic normal 96% Georgia, Times, serif; line-height: 1.6em; color: #191919; } /* ----- CODE ----- */ code { color: #000000; font-size: 110%; } /* ----- COMMENT ----- Blogger template design by emporiumdigital.blogspot.com */ #comments { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 15px 0px; text-align: left; color: #341473; font: normal normal 95% Verdana, sans-serif; } /* comment-header */ #comments h4 { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 15px 0px 10px 0px; color: #1082b6; font: normal bold 126% Arial, sans-serif; } .deleted-comment { font-style:italic; color:gray; margin: 3px 0px 3px 0px; } .comment-author { display: block; margin: 5px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 13px 10px 6px 0px; color: #D7363E; /* background: #72179D; */ border-top: 1px dotted #341473; border-bottom: 0px dotted #341473; font-size: 115%; font-weight: normal; } .comment-author a {color: #D7363E; text-decoration: none;} .comment-author a:hover {color: #341473; text-decoration: underline;} .comment-author a:visited {color: #D7363E; text-decoration: none;} .comment-body {margin: 0; padding: 7px 0px 7px 40px;} .comment-body p {margin: 0; padding: 0; line-height: 1.6em;} .comment-footer {margin: 7px 0px 7px 0px; padding: 0;} .comment-timestamp { margin: 0px 0px 0px 4px; padding: 0px 0px 7px 4px; color: #341473; text-decoration: none; font-weight: normal; font-size: 85%; font-style: italic; } .comment-timestamp a { color: #341473; text-decoration: none; } .comment-timestamp a:hover {color: #D7363E; text-decoration: underline;} #comments ul {margin: 0; padding: 0; list-style-type: none;} #comments li {margin: 0; padding: 0;} a.comment-link { /* ie5.0/win doesn't apply padding to inline elements, so we hide these two declarations from it */ padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; } html>body a.comment-link { /* respecified, for ie5/mac's benefit */ padding-left: 0px; } /* ----- LOWER SECTION ----- Blogger template design by emporiumdigital.blogspot.com */ #lower-wrapper { margin: 3px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; width: 800px; font: normal normal 67% Verdana, sans-serif; color: #ffffff; background: #ffa0a4; border: 1px solid #ffffff; } #lowerbar-wrapper { float: left; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 10px 0px 10px 0px; width: 33%; text-align: left; line-height: 1.6em; word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */ overflow: hidden; /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */ } #lowerads-wrapper { float: left; margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 10px 0px; width: 100%; text-align: center; word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */ overflow: hidden; /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */ } .lowerbar {margin: 0; padding: 0;} .lowerbar .widget {margin: 0; padding: 10px 20px 0px 20px;} .lowerads {margin: 0; padding: 0;} .lowerads .widget {margin: 0; padding: 10px 0px 0px 0px;} .lowerbar h2 { margin: 0px 0px 4px 0px; padding: 3px 0px 3px 0px; color: #ffffff; font: normal bold 112% Arial, sans-serif; text-align: left; border-bottom: 1px solid #ffffff; } .lowerbar ul { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; list-style-type: none; } .lowerbar li { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 1px 0px 1px 0px; /* border-bottom: 1px solid #1082b6; */ } .lowerbar a {color: #1082b6; text-decoration: none;} .lowerbar a:hover {text-decoration: underline; color: #ffa0a4;} .lowerbar a:visited {text-decoration: none; color: #191919;} /* ----- FOOTER ----- Blogger template design by emporiumdigital.blogspot.com */ #footer-wrapper { clear: both; display: inline; /* handles IE margin bug */ float: left; width: 100%; margin: 6px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; /* background: #84343B; border: 1px solid #ffffff; */ } #footer { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; text-align: center; color: #191919; font: normal normal 71% Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 1.6em; } #footer h2 { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 1px 0px 1px 0px; color: #1082b6; font: normal bold 95% Verdana, sans-serif; } #footer .widget { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 4px 10px 4px 10px; } .footer p {margin: 0; padding: 0} .footer a { color: #84343B; text-decoration: none; } .footer a:hover { color: #000000; text-decoration: underline; } .footer a:visited { color: #84343B; text-decoration: none; } /* ----- OUTER ADS ----- Blogger template design by emporiumdigital.blogspot.com */ #topads-wrapper { margin: 0; padding: 0; position: relative; text-align: center; width: 100%; } #topads {margin: 0; padding: 0;} #bottomads-wrapper { margin: 0; padding: 0; position: relative; text-align: center; width: 100%; } #bottomads {margin: 0; padding: 10px 0;} /* ----- CREDIT ----- */ #credit { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 2px 0px 0px 0px; width: 100%; height: 26px; clear: both; font-family: verdana, helvetica; font-size: 70%; color: #444444; font-weight: normal; background: #777777; } #creditleft { margin: 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 7px 0px 0px 0px; height: 26px; position: relative; float: left; text-align: left; display: inline; width: 71%; background: #ffffff; } #creditright { margin: -33px 0px 0px 0px; padding: 7px 0px 0px 0px; height: 26px; position: relative; float: right; text-align:right; display: inline; width: 30%; background: #ffffff; } #creditleft p { margin: 0; padding: 0 } #creditright p { margin: 0; padding: 0 } #creditleft a, .creditleft a:hover, .creditleft a:visited { color: #444444; text-decoration: underline; } #creditright a, .creditright a:hover, .creditright a:visited { color: #444444; text-decoration: underline; } /* ************ END OF CSS STYLING ************ */ /** Page structure tweaks for layout editor wireframe */ body#layout #main, body#layout #sidebar { padding: 0; } -->

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Full of things to say but cant seem to make myself write

I wanted to just write a short post to let everyone know that I miss talking to you. I need to chat and I have so many things going on in my mind. But its almost too much to just sit down and write. Sounds crazy I know. The things that are on my mind I really don't want to talk about which means if I just keep putting it off or writing about them, I don't have to think about them.

Well started writing so now I feel like venting a bit. lol.
My son came back from training for Thanksgiving and will be working at the base near us until after Christmas. Then he will leave and We won't see him again for about two years. That is so hard to comprehend and I'm writing it but yet I don't want to talk about it cause that would make it real. And it is real, oh so real. I'm trying to figure him out right now. He seems to be distancing himself from us a bit and its hard on us but maybe that is how he is going to cope with all of this. I just dont know. He went camping by himself for two days. I thought that was really weird, he said it was nice and he had a lot to think about. He doesn't look good, like hes not sleeping. He looks old right now. I told him he looks tired or something and he said that he doesn't sleep. I'm wondering if when they are training and they are doing all the stuff at night, if that screws their body up or if he is just stressed. He is way too stressed for a kid his age, worries about everything. I'm not being a very good mom because is all I want to do is cry. So I just sit and listen to him.

Christmas is a great time of the year, I'm trying really hard to make it special for my little one just like I did the older ones. But I'm really struggling. Christmas this year is also the last time I see my son for a long time. So I'm putting it off although it is still coming.

I went to the spine center for my back a couple weeks ago. What a mistake that was. I went because the hospital said my spine was making it harder for me to breathe and not the scars from all of the blood clots. Oh my God I could have died when I saw the xrays.... It was almost like I was a third person looking at them, like I wasn't even there. Its funny how allot of doctors are so smart but yet really don't know how to talk to people. Basically what they told me is that I have a 47 degree curve in my spine again. That was fing depressing. I knew it was getting worse but thought the rod would hold it up somewhat. My spine looks like a boomerang! Thats what it reminded me of.  Surgery is not an option again unless I lose all feelings in my legs and they are just going to treat the pain. Which mean more pills. And I already get told that I take too many from people. Although they dont have my spine... right. ?

So my plan as of now is that I'm going to keep moving. The doc said that 95 percent of people with my curve would be bed ridden for life. So is what I have to do is just keep moving. He was surprised at how I could bend and was flexible. I told him half of my day was stretching and walking. so I just have to keep it up. battery is dying have to go... miss talking to all of you

4 comments:

  1. try and find a support group for moms who have sons/daughters been deployed. take it one day at a time. god bless.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks sarah; I was just thinking or I guess wondering after hearing Obama tonight if he will go before we expect. That would suck. You know I've been thinking about the support group thing, probably a good idea. I could probably just go from one support group to the other all day long for all of the stuff I vent about huh? lol. Anyway thanks for writing it helps allot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. nice post! keep it up! i'm new to blogging and looking for friends and followers so please do drop by http://badcheetahblackops.blogspot.com/
    thanks in advance!

    ReplyDelete

Leave me some comments!!!

Powered By Blogger

TheTruth:Postpartum Depression & Anxiety Attacks

  © Blogger Template by Emporium Digital 2008

Back to TOP