Anxiety attacks II- Other peoples' problems and you

If you read my first post on my first anxiety attack you know i left off with hospitals etc.

If you dont take care of yourself you cant take care of anyone else!!

This really affected my day to day life. I was scared to death to leave the house or be out of a "safe zone" found ways to get stuff done through magazines, mail, phone. Really screwed me up. My doctor was an hour away so needless to say I cancelled allot of appointments am ashamed to say lied about the reasons I couldn't make it. God forbid if it was snowing. But I did take notice when I went somewhere at how everyone was just moving on with their lives. Seemed like they didn't have a care in the world. Which looking back they all had problems but I was too focused on getting home. I have realized allot of things that really made me worse.

I was a perfectionist; Had to give that up. I would go on and on about how my house wasn't clean enough. I remember my doctor asking me what would happen if it isn't clean besides the fact that it drove me crazy. I said "Well what if someone comes by and its not clean" and what she said to me stuck. She said " Well if they are coming by to see how clean your house is and not to see you, do you really want them to even come by?" She was right. I still struggle with this until my body starts getting sick then I have to take a step back and knock it off.

My family used to say that if I don't have something to worry about, I will find something. They said you worry about the neighbors dog and they don't even have one. Really pissed me off when they said that. For years i was getting phone calls from people who were fighting with their spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, they were broke, tired, sick, etc... I would worry about them all night long, no sleep. Then would have an anxiety attack over their problems. This is hard for me because I truly want people to be happy. Some people gossip or get a kick when someone has trouble it makes me sad for them. But I wasn't really in a position to have all of this negativity in my life..

The day I decided to change was when one of my friends called late one night and said that her husband was going crazy, the kids were crying, they were fighting, on and on. I was sick all night about it. So first thing in the morning I called her. She sounded so happy and said that everything was fine. That was it. This wasn't the first time. I had to worry about my own crap. And told her that. This was a breaking point for me I spoke, Let it out.

The best thing I think that I have ever done when It comes to anxiety and depression was to just tell people. Stop the excuses of why I cant go somewhere with them, or don't feel like it. Why I haven't taken a shower in days. I learned how to say NO. And after a couple of times it was so easy. Just no. It takes so much time and energy trying to explain yourself that you just get worse. It's all about them and what you cant do for them. Well you have to get a little bit selfish, which was really hard for me. But it made a huge difference in my health.

The amount of phone calls I would get say " Um.... This is so and so, and I heard that you have anxiety attacks and depression," they would start crying,"I can't take this anymore. I have never told anyone about this but I am depressed or having anxiety attacks. What do I do?" People who I would have never guessed. Rich, poor, it didn't matter. To be honest It made it a little bit harder for me cause i would get anxiety over their anxiety. But if you can find someone to just listen, not give you advice, just listen, you have it made. It helps so much. I found that my doctor was kinda like my therapist; She just listened. It was so much help. You probably wont believe this but, I'm pretty good at picking people out of a crowd that are depressed or have anxiety attacks.

So my point; TELL PEOPLE WHAT YOU HAVE OR ARE GOING THROUGH; IF THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THEN THEY DON'T. BUT THEY WILL KNOW.



SAY NO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RUDE, JUST FIRM. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FOR A WHILE, WHICH IS EASIER SAID THEN DONE. BUT TRY TO GET SOME TIME TO HAVE FOR YOURSELF.



ITS A FACT THAT MOST PEOPLE WILL HAVE DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY AT SOME TIME IN THEIR LIFE. SO THEY WILL KNOW THEN.



YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO FUNCTION AGAIN. IT TAKES A LONG TIME OR MAYBE NOT. I'M STILL LEARNING.