FRIEND? OR NO

My mom always told me that I didn't have allot of friends because I didn't want them. To some degree she was right. Its not that I didn't want friends I'm just picky. This comes through experiences I guess. Most of my friends were phone friends. I talked on the phone with them a few times a week or some of them everyday, but would go for months or years without seeing them. I didn't like leaving the house. I was busy raising kids, and cleaning house.... But when I got the postpartum depression I found out just who my friends were or weren't. The people that I thought would truly care and help me were nowhere to be found. Didn't understand, or I guess i will try to be fair and say that some people just don't know how to respond to people who are sick. A few people just showed up and called everyday. It was definitely a one-way ed friendship i had nothing to give and wasn't interested in anything they were going through. I was at the point that i didn't care. I was just trying to function everyday. There was a total of probably four girls who took me under their wing. They had there own families, and I didn't see them allot but they called constantly and actually helped me just by having them. Guess what, only two of them were friends that I had actually ever hung out with or knew real well. That's the way it goes I found out that you really only will have a few good friends in your life, or I will and that doesn't include my family members who were there because without my family i don't know how i would have ever gotten through all of this. I lived for my kids. Thats it. Eventually you learn that you have to live for yourself also. This is something that I have really had to work on. I held grudges for a long time. But you know what that only makes you worse. I have to tell myself GET OVER IT! AND BE THANKFUL FOR THE PEOPLE THAT YOU DO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE.