Postpartum Depression I- Guilt

I'm laying here looking at my nine year old. shes beautiful and truly a blessing from God. and I wonder how I could have ever literally shrieked inside when she cried. I never wanted to hurt her or was mad at her it was just this feeling like someone was scratching a chalkboard when she would cry inside of me. I kept it to myself. I was sooo ashamed of having that feeling. I remember telling someone that i couldnt stop crying. I wish i could remember who. But she said, "Well maybe its time that you did cry. Just cry." I dont know why that helped me but it did. It was like someone was giving me the permission to cry. I didnt even know what the ....... I was crying for. And it was a cry like i had never done before. It came from my gut. It seemed like it lasted for ever, but looking back the crying probably only lasted a couple of weeks, maybe a month.